when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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