pop tarts are not kleenex
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
