i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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