This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
