Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
