he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
