ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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