I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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