I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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