My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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