ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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