If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
