just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize