Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
