Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
