what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
