Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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