Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
