Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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