Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
