There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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