Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
