My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
