We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
