I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
