the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
