I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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