I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
