ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize