that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
