just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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