So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
