I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
