Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
