Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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