yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
