3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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