The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
