Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
