Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
