Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
