I'm really into asian looking animals
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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