I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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