Christians are straight up FREAKS
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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