so explain again why im purple
no
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
