whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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