haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
