the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
