this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
