She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
