I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
