You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
