She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
