I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
