I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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