can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
