As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
