Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
