He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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