Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
