We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
