Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
