i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I look better un-naked...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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