Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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