also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
