It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
