They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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